Young Dirty Bastard

Today, my own filthy lifestyle sent me over the edge into a psychotic rage. It is times like this that I'm glad my mom hasn't figured out technology enough to know how to leave a comment, because I am going to talk about my complete lack of tidiness, predominantly localized in the landfill that is my car.

My car has spent the last 7 years as a highly advanced mechanized dumpster. Sure, it has carried me all over town and country. Sure, it has survived at least two New England winters and one freak Eastern Shore winter. Sure, it has survived months and months of Boston traffic. But it has always been a trash receptacle.

Obviously, I have cleaned it out from time to time, but the trash always piles up. It's a sea of fast food cups and bags, old Google Maps directions (hey, I might need to take a spontaneous trip to Myrtle Beach or Vermont and not have access to a computer!), and enough old receipts that you could paper mache a Homecoming float for Faber College.



This could be MY car!

Well, this afternoon, it's safe to say the shit has finally hit the fan. As I was pulling into the driveway, a fast food cup that was sitting on my floor fell over and leaked all over the carpeted mat. Why was it sitting on the floor, you ask?

Because, dear readers, I had exhausted all FOUR of my cup holders with old fast food cups!!!

At least I can say in my own defense that I had plenty of random napkins on hand to sop up the mess. Once I parked, I flew into a flustered rage, retrieved a 13-gallon trash bag from the house, and filled it to the brim with garbage.

I felt like Norman Bates, because all I could hear reverberating through my head was my mother's constant lecture about keeping a clean car! Something along the lines of, "You never want to listen to me!", and, "See, Mom is always right!"

I feel a lot better knowing I threw out the mold culture growing on an old napkin in the bottom of a cup holder (yes, seriously). At least when I took the bag to the trash can, I found this cute little guy on the lid.



It's a tiny frog!!!!!!!! Those are Sean's hands for comparison, so don't think that I have man hands. As we all know, he is the ambassador between Meredith and Nature.

I will leave you with a picture of Shadow in a trash-bags-full-of-clothes fort.

4 comments:

afterthegoldrush said...

That's what you get when two OCD's mate!

word verification: amomi

swampcritter2 said...

Not bad for a minor-leaguer, however I recently sold my old mobile office (a 1981 GMC Sierra 1500 series) for scrap. Before I towed it away I removed 10 years of paycheck stubs and other assorted receipts, over 125 rounds of ammunition (some for guns I no longer own) several complete blueprints, and 4 trash bags stuffed full, mind you with other assorted junk including bottlecaps from every brand of imported suds I used to consume on the way home. I parked the vehicle over 7 years ago, it had more than 289,000 miles on it. You did trump me on the frog however.

Bluezy said...

And did you save some of the frog's eco system and keep it or did you set it free?
My daughter had plants growing in her van because the trash I guess turned into compost....

Twirling Towards Freedom said...

Haha, the frog wasn't IN my car!! He was on the trash can lid outside my house. 'Course, it was small enough, I suppose there COULD be frogs in the car.

We set the frog free!

The only life form in the car appeared to be the mold growing on an old napkin in the bottom of a cup holder, where countless condensating drinks had sat before.